I look forward to this story in the next alumni e-mail.

A former defensive lineman for the Los Angeles Raiders and the Cleveland Browns pleaded guilty yesterday to helping his live-in girlfriend run a high-end prostitution ring out of his parents’ Monroeville home.

Three other defendants face charges this month in connection with the prostitution and drug ring investigators say was run by the ball player’s girlfriend, Amy Schifano.

After kissing his mother and hustling his parents out of the courtroom, a subdued John Robert “Buck” Buczkowski, 43, stepped forward and pleaded to two counts of promoting prostitution, six counts of possessing and dealing cocaine, and one count each of participating in a corrupt organization, conspiracy, dealing in the proceeds of an illegal activity and illegal use of a cell phone.

He faced a sentence of 43¹/₂ to 87 years had he gone to trial. Instead, he agreed to testify against his co-defendants if they proceed to trial.

After a short-lived career in the NFL, the former Gateway and University of Pittsburgh football star bought the Gold Rush restaurant and bar in Monroeville and ran it with his parents.

The girlfriend seems to have been a real go-getter. She seemed to be the brains and facing the most charges. Buck apparently was the muscle.

I didn’t believe it then, or now. No, not the charges, the claim that this was a high-end prostitution ring. Out of Monroeville? For around $200/appointment? Talk about the affordable prices in Pittsburgh.

Not sure how I missed this the first time I scanned through, but this is a nice little gem.

Strong allegedly broke Sappleton’s two cell phones and Sappleton was pushed to the ground. Medics checked Sappleton and found no abrasions, contusions or swelling relative to the incident.

Strong’s lady friend had two cell phones? For some reason this made me laugh. And yes, this is in fact the most Pitt related news we’ve seen this weekend.

Only 89 days until kickoff.

Darrell Strong didn’t take Memorial Day off from causing trouble.

Strong, 21, of Sunrise, Fla., is accused of damaging the woman’s purse and cell phone during the altercation that began in an apartment and moved to a fast-food restaurant in the Waterfront complex where police were called at 7:55 p.m. Monday, Homestead police Chief Jeffrey DeSimone said.

Of course it’s known that Dave Wannstedt can be harsh with his punishment of players, even for seemingly small offenses.

“After meeting with Darrell, I have decided that he will be subject to internal disciplinary measures effective immediately.”

Thankfully he wasn’t stupid enough to injure her and is was a dispute with some shoving (not like that kind of action should be condoned either) or else we could have another pretty big punishment handed down my Wannstedt.

By now you’ve heard that Joe Paterno has decided on a punishment for his football team after some inexcusable behavior: have the entire team clean the stadium after a game day and give all of the money earned to the club teams which use such income to fund their sports. Sounds pretty good, right?

No doubt Paterno is a smart man, at least in some sense. Not smart enough for a few people to see right through his punishment though.

If you peel back the warm and fuzzy blanket, it’s as much a preemptive strike at the University’s Office of Judicial Affairs as it is corporal punishment for the players.

Consider the timing of the announcement. It comes before the Judicial Affairs folks begin their hearings into the incident.

In the pecking order of justice, the legal system is first, then Judicial Affairs and finally, Paterno’s court.

It is also a calculated move to undercut the Judicial Affairs office by taking matters into his own hands and meting out his own punishment. That will make anything Judicial Affairs decides to do look like overkill and further advance the perception that Judicial Affairs has some vendetta against the football team.

Yes, Joe Paterno is smart, but Ron Bracken is just a step ahead.

I guess when you’re trying to live the life of a rapper, beating your wife/girlfriend is just part of the road to stardom. Keith “KB” Benjamin took care of that but could have the charges dropped and get off the hook if he can keep his hands off his former girlfriend (and vice versa).

“All parties agreed to go 30 days. If there are no incidents, all charges will be dropped.”

I’ll bet any money that if you asked Jamie Dixon to make a comment on it, he’d make the most positive comment possible. That would simply be “Dixon being Dixon”.

Backup Guard Keith Benjamin and his girlfriend were arrested and charged with simple assault after a domestic dispute. They were apparently arguing over car keys. The girlfriend had some scratches on her face neck and her knee was bloody. Both refused medical treatment. Both claimed to have been hit by the other.

They were arraigned and released. The preliminary hearing is on Thursday. Call it a hunch, but I suspect neither will be pressing charges.

It’s stupid and wrong on so many levels, but I don’t think it’s a huge deal. Benjamin has never been in trouble before this. It’s not good.

I’ll defer to those who know the Allegheny County Criminal Court and Police system far better than I (go ahead, Pat), so correct me if I’m wrong. It is probably standard procedure to take both into police custody and file charges in cases of domestic disputes. Then let things be sorted out.

UPDATE: This story makes it a bigger deal. That detail of “Officers observed swelling and a bruise on Olczak’s right cheek,” makes this much more serious. The earlier story made no mention of this injury.

Yes, Herb Pope — a once Pitt recruit — was shot.

I don’t know what to say. I was happy that he didn’t sign with Pitt, and the thought that it might do him some good to have a fresh start from so many of his entourage and hanger-ons deep in the Southwest was a reasonable wish.

He has had a horrible past year from the standpoint of perceptions. He got tossed out of an AAU Tournament game. He nearly transferred — again. He finally signed with New Mexico State to the relief of many. Then there was his behavior after Aliquippa blew the lead in the final 3:50 of the Class AA PIAA championship game.

I hope Pope has a full recovery. I hope he can still play ball at New Mexico State. I really hope that he finally realizes that his basketball talent won’t excuse all the other things he does with his life. The bullets that tore through his flesh like any one else, are about the most physical representation of not being invulnerable or that special.

Aw, geez, Antonio. That was my initial reaction.

San Francisco 49ers wide receiver Antonio Bryant was arrested on reckless and drunken driving charges after his Lamborghini was seen speeding faster than 100 mph on a freeway, police said Tuesday.

Bryant, 25, was arrested Sunday night on suspicion of misdemeanor charges of reckless driving, driving under the influence and resisting arrest, police Capt. Kevin Raffaelli said.

An officer entering U.S. Highway 101 saw Bryant speed past and tried unsuccessfully to catch him, Raffaelli said. He radioed another officer who pulled over Bryant.

The next reaction I had was, “Damn. He’s got a Lamborghini.”

On the field, he’d been fine. Relatively problem free this year. Now this.

Let’s get to the embarrassing stuff. The WR who left for “personal reasons” in this case was code for criminal charges.

Former Virginia football player Theirrien “Bud” Davis faces a felony charge in Albemarle County. Davis, a reserve wide receiver in 2004 and ’05, was arrested March 28 and charged with stealing property — textbooks — worth at least $200 “with intent to sell or distribute,” Capt. Michael Coleman of the U.VA. police department said yesterday.

The incident allegedly occurred March 2 at the U.Va. book store. Coleman declined to disclose additional details.

…

Asked yesterday about Davis’ departure, Virginia coach Al Groh said, “This has been an issue that Bud’s been dealing with for awhile. We’ve been in conversation with him over a period of time, and I think we’ll just leave it as a personal issue . . . If it was a playing-time matter, he probably wouldn’t have withdrawn from school.”

You have to be amused about the recent line of Parcell coaching prodigies. They have all adopted this minimal information disclosure and engage in carefully crafted euphemisms that are just accepted when the team is winning and doing well (see Belichick in New England vs. his time in Cleveland). When the team is not meeting expectations or the columnists and writers run out of tolerance for it, it gets old and becomes a source of mocking.

OK, things are a little unsettled in C’ville. Five months ago, in fact, upon punting Ahmad Brooks, Vince Redd and Tony Franklin from the squad (Franklin has since been granted a pardon and plugged into the secondary), Groh allowed that U.Va. was in “a rebuilding circumstance” — rebuilding circumstance being Groh-ese for, umm, rebuilding.

With Davis gone, after being expected to be on the 2-deep and perhaps start — of course with a criminal charge pending since March that the football coaches apparently knew about, you have to wonder why they waited until now — the receiving corp now has a junior walk-on who has never caught a pass on the 2-deep. Starting will be Sophomore Kevin Ogletree.

Coaches and teammates have spoken highly of Ogletree’s ability. At 6-foot-2 and 186 pounds, he’s got the physical tools to be a playmaker. But he saw limited action as a true freshman last season. Five of his seven receptions last year came in a 51-3 win over Temple.

Groh said he isn’t sure what to expect of Ogletree in Saturday’s opener at Pittsburgh.

“Definitely, Kevin Ogletree has got to come in and prove himself,” said senior Fontel Mines, who starts at the other receiver spot.

Returning punts and kickoffs will be a Sophomore transfer from Hawaii, Andrew Pearman

Pearman, younger brother of former Virginia star Alvin Pearman, will return both punts and kickoffs. No one questions Pearman’s speed or elusiveness.

“We want to see if he can catch the ball,” Groh said.

I really hope the special teams coaches are reading this.

The other penchant of the Parcells coaching tree is trying to keep things secret. No matter how silly.

If you went by the depth chart, it would appear that junior Chris Gould will get the first shot at kicking field goals and extra points for the Cavaliers, with sophomore Ryan Weigand starting at punter.

Groh might have a different plan, but don’t try getting the answer before Saturday’s game. Gould remains an option at punter, a position he has held since late in the ’04 season.

“I probably have [decided on a punter],” Groh said, “but I don’t know that I have necessarily told anybody that.”

Brilliant.

There is still one receiver for Virginia who was expected to start and hasn’t been injured, kicked off the team or arrested. Frontel Mines looks to be lining up against Darrelle Revis.

In Virginia’s upset of No. 4 Florida State, Mines had a career-best five receptions for 49 yards. In the Cavaliers’ comeback win over Minnesota in the Music City Bowl, he caught four passes, including one for a TD late in the third quarter.

With his muscular frame (6-4, 220 pounds), Mines could almost pass for a tight end, and he’s an ideal complement to the sleeker, faster Williams (6-3, 196). Now, however, with Williams out indefinitely, Mines looks around the huddle and sees less-experienced receivers: juniors Emmanuel Byers and Theirrien Davis, sophomores Kevin Ogletree, Andrew Pearman and Maurice Covington.

“The receivers, we just got to embrace the challenge,” said Mines, who’s caught 41 passes for 481 yards and three TDs as a Cavalier. “We’ve got to be ready to step up and fill the void.”

Honestly, if there is a game where Pitt should have the safeties playing closer to the line to help on the run and bring pressure on the QB, this game has to be the one.

Finally, apparently Pitt isn’t the only team that has a leader on defense with great bloodlines that will generate glowing stories. The Cavs have Howie Long’s kid to fill that void.

With Maurice Clarett, many ask how a kid with such potential to earn a fortune in football could piss it all away. I’m now wondering how he managed to hold it together as long as he did.

Maurice Clarett was arrested early Wednesday after a highway chase that ended with police using Mace on the former Ohio State running back and finding four loaded guns in his sport utility vehicle, a police spokesman said.

Officers used Mace to subdue Clarett after a stun gun was ineffective because the former Fiesta Bowl star was wearing a bullet-resistant vest, Sgt. Michael Woods said.

“It took several officers to get him handcuffed,” Woods said. “Even after he was placed in the paddy wagon, he was still kicking at the doors and being a problem for the officers.”

Safe to say that the entire Buckeye Nation is just hoping he goes to jail very soon and for a long time. Just so they don’t have to take more crap for having to acknowledge he was ever a part of their team. Right Lee?

The Fulmer Cup — especially with the recent one-man, taser fueled surge from San Jose St. to throw the contest into complete disarray — as noted by MountainLair is lacking real presence from the Big East.

That’s not fair. The Bulls are trying to show they are a player in the realm of arrests and criminal activity. It’s just that the damn academics keep them from being part of the team. Case in point:

I caught the arrest late enough Monday night that I wasn’t able to get a lot of details beyond the basic charges. In short, police say Stirrups stole digital cameras worth about $300 each and other small items from cars parked in the parking lot near Tampa International Airport where he and his mother worked.

When I called Pearl River Community College, where Stirrups was set to play this fall after failing to qualify academically at USF, coach Tim Hatten was blunt: This was not the kind of activity he’d tolerate in his program, not the kind of character he wanted to bring to Mississippi. Unless the charges go away very quickly, Stirrups has no place on his team.

The easy reaction is that it’s slightly hypocritical that one day after he takes Carlton Hill off USF’s hands, knowing he’s had a recent arrest for possession of marijuana, Hatten says he wants no part of Stirrups and his error in judgment. With Stirrups though, the issue is greater, because it attacks a coach’s ability to trust the young man. If he’s willing to steal from customers of a business that employs both himself and his own mother, what conscience would stop him from stealing from a teammate’s locker?

What’s truly mindless in all of this, both funny and sad at the same time, is how Stirrups got caught: With both cameras, police say he took a few pictures of himself and friends before pawning them, never deleting the images. So when police were able to recover the cameras, they saw the post-theft pics and showed them around at the parking lot office. Of course, they could identify him; he worked there. It’s the kind of silliness you normally laugh at while reading Carl Hiassen novels.

His six felony counts are remarkably similar to another USF signee who failed to qualify academically and wound up at Pearl River three years ago, a linebacker named Gene Coleman.

[Emphasis added.]

They are trying. That’s important. They just need to get that element academically qualified first. Right now, they aren’t quite there yet.