I swear I will get to spring practice stuff. Really. But before I can, I have to make a plea to Pitt basketball. Get Penn State back on the schedule. I don’t care how. Just for a couple years. Even if Pitt has to go to State College twice for one trip to the Pete for next season.

This just has to happen. At least as long as Stanley Pringle remains with the Nittany Lions. He has his defense.

Pringle told police he has “a bad habit of putting his hand down his pants,” and demonstrated for the officer by placing his hand down the front of his sweatpants, according to the complaint.

“Why would I need to masturbate?” he told police. “This is how I chill, ma’am.”

Disturbingly, Pringle could, uh, get off. The woman didn’t actually see him actually see any shaking.

According to the criminal complaint, a woman said Pringle sat down on top of a desk behind her and asked if she wanted to purchase some hand lotion he was selling for the basketball team.

Sports Information Director Brian Siegrist declined to comment.

The woman told police that after 15 minutes of conversation with Pringle, she heard the sound of adjusting clothing followed by a “smacking sound, like Pringle’s hand was smacking against the skin of his body.”

The victim said she did not turn around because she was afraid, adding that she believed this to be the sound of masturbation and could see a reflection of Pringle’s hand moving back and forth, according to the criminal complaint.

…

The victim told police that after walking through the bookshelves while answering her phone, she saw Pringle rubbing his hands together, “as if he had just put lotion on them,” and when she returned to her seat, she said she saw Pringle tying the drawstring on his sweatpants.

Oh, please, please, please, please put Penn State on the home schedule for 2008-09.