While watching Kenny Mayne’s coverage from Churchill Downs on SportsCenter earlier this week, I wondered aloud to my wife what kind of chain-smoking blue hair still gets into horse racing — a sport that officially died around 1957 or so when Americans began to realize that watching television (and hell, even Sputnik) was more fun.
Well, I found one. And get a load of this freak. I mean, he actually goes into detail about (1) who owns each horse, (2) what each horse’s odds are, and (3) how you make a freakin’ mint julep.
Hey, if I made fun of Pat for getting into European soccer, I gotta give Chas a little for getting into the Kentucky Derby. Although in Chas’s defense, I’m convinced that he’s only pretending to be into it for the excuse to drink a bourbon-based beverage.
Incidentally, wouldn’t it be interesting if each college — in addition to its other traditions (fight songs, marching bands, etc…) — had a unique drink associated with it… like the mint julep is associated with the Kentucky Derby? And no, I’m not suggesting that Iron City pounders be associated with Pitt…
However, I could suggest that Bud Light drafts in a cheap plastic cup be associated with Penn State. Hey, speaking of Wal-Mart State, it’s nice to see that their current streak of near-monthly football player arrests continues unabated. This month’s offender is Michael P. Sothern, a terroristic-threats-and-disorderly-conduct-making redshirt freshman linebacker who JoePa allowed to play in last Saturday’s Blue-White game despite the fact that the coach knew of the charges beforehand.
So add Sothern to the list of Nittany Lions who have been arrested since NCAA President Myles Brandt said that “Penn State is the poster child for doing it right in college sports” last winter…
Defensive lineman Ed Johnson (Feb. 7 riot at the Ice Pavilion)
Defensive lineman Matthew Rice (Feb. 7 riot at the Ice Pavilion)
Quarterback Michael Robinson (Feb. 7 riot at the Ice Pavilion)
Defensive end Lavon Chisley (currently the target of a sexual-assault investigation)
Defensive lineman Richard Cheek (criminal conspiracy, identity theft, access device fraud and receiving stolen property)
Wide receiver Maurice Humphrey (aggravated assault, simple assault and summaries)
Add in the spate of DUI charges from last fall, including the one against star senior wide receiver Tony Johnson, and I can’t help but wonder if Brandt should raise his standards for poster children. I mean, for the safety of those of us who have to live in the shadow of Central Pennsylvania’s Sodom, could we possibly expect more from student athletes than what Penn State dishes out?
Yeah, I know. Pitt has had a few off-the-field problems recently too. But you see, Miles Brandt never called us a “poster child for doing it right.” Besides, we’re hardly in Penn State’s league yet.
Incidentally, I love how the Central PA media clings to Brandt’s quote as some proof of superiority over programs such as Ohio State, Michigan, and Iowa who the Nittany Lions can no longer beat on the football field. Really, it’s very Notre Dame of them. It’s very Nietzsche’s “Genealogy of Morals,” in case there are any other Philosophy majors out there.
Incidentally, for the idiot Nittany Lion fan in your life who believes that PSU is gonna win ten or so games next fall, here’s a well-written dose of reality from Walt Moody at the Centre Daily Times. I’m actually really starting to like that paper. It sure beats old Neil Rudel at the Altoona Mirror, anyways.
Well, it’s 10:00. I probably should get to work now…
Hail to Bourbon
