It’s hard to resist a story which includes the following passage:

My family has been my backbone through all of this. They support my decisions, and I respect their opinions. It’s no fathers dream to see his daughter pose nude in Playboy, but every photo has been tastefully done, because the last thing I would ever want to do is disgrace my family.

Wow. I’m not sure there is any single wise-ass remark that can do that justice. Plus pictures (though not from Playboy).

Here’s a reason to hate UConn. Their promotional video. Orson at EDSBS has another gut-wrenching analysis of the “Great Pick.”

All of this made us practically Orgeronnically mad, but then came…the expressions. The mugging, smug, self-satisified array of looks Six-Stringy Fucktardo gives the camera is enough to make us want to drive to UConn and beat anyone bearing the slightest resemblance to a quivering, blood-sopped pile of mush and flannel. He flashes them with the shoddy confidence of a man whose equation for every evening went something like this:

(“Hey”) + (“That’s so deep”) – (wingwoman)/ (patented smile) X (laugh) + (one rendition of “Your Body is a Wonderland”)+ (four beers) = skinny sub-smart blond education major down for the night.

We hate this guy, we hate him, we don’t even know him and we hate him. We hope all the bad things in life happen to him and only him. And associatively, we hate UConn and all its flannelly, shitty acoustic guitar playing kinda long haired self stands for.

As is almost standard when I link to something from EDSBS: read it all.