If you asked 100 Penn State fans who their archrival was, the more knowledgeable ones would smile a little before answering – subconsciously revealing that this is no longer an easy-to-answer question. Many of the old-timers would no doubt still answer “Pitt.” One or two might answer “Michigan State,” reflecting an official Big Ten Conference stance that almost nobody takes seriously. A handful might answer “Michigan,” even though the Wolverines don’t play the Nittany Lions every year. However, I guarantee that a solid majority would answer “Ohio State.”

How do I know? Because I live in the heart of Nittany Lion country. I spend each day with scores of Penn State Football fans: two of which are my parents and one of which is my wife. Plus, I know from repeated experience that wearing an Ohio State sweatshirt in Altoona, State College, or even into Beaver Stadium itself will draw far more derogatory comments than wearing a Michigan or even a Pitt sweatshirt.

And it’s not hard to understand why. Besides Michigan State, Ohio State is the only team that Penn State is guaranteed to play every year. Columbus is, by far, the nearest Big Ten outpost to State College. The Buckeyes have been led by a long series of head coaches that Nittany Lion fans love to hate – from Woody “Don Zimmer” Hayes to John “Deer-in-the-Headlights” Cooper. And most of all, no Big Ten team has won more games than Ohio State since Penn State joined the Big Ten.

Unfortunately, the Ohio State-Penn State rivalry is hardly a two way street. You see, Ohio State already has an archrival, and ESPN’s SportsCentury ranked Ohio State-Michigan as the best sports rivalry of the 20th Century – beating even Yankees-Red Sox. Most Ohio State fans are either mildly indifferent to or even slightly fond of Penn State because of old Joe Paterno. How do I know? Because I’m an Ohio State alumnus (grad school).

But before I became an Ohio State alumnus, I was a Pitt alumnus (undergrad). Chas, Pat, John, Shawn, and I attended Pitt when Panthers football was at its absolute nadir. Penn State, still flush with success from its 1986 national championship, crushed Pitt with ease every year. And each time, I took crap from hundreds of friends, relatives, and complete strangers back home – many of whom were convinced that I had made a major mistake by eschewing Penn State for Pitt. I grew to hate Penn State (those of you who regularly read my crap may have picked this up), and I took this hatred with me to Columbus. Thus, I am one of the very few Ohio State fans who hates Penn State back.

But Penn State deserves an archrival who fans unanimously hate it back. A good, nasty archrival could help motivate Penn State past its current cloud of underachievement. But most importantly of all, it would give Penn State fans a game that they could truly look forward to – win or lose. In a state like Pennsylvania that is full of extraordinarily tight-knit small towns and residents who were usually born near where they currently live, the Pitt-Penn State rivalry was something special – splitting bar rooms, ethnic social clubs, and even nuclear families (e.g., Chas’s and mine). In ways, it was far more unique than even Ohio State-Michigan (a state line separates most of their fans). It was more like an extra-nasty, industrialized, blue-collar version of Alabama-Auburn.

So for your own good, Penn State, give up the Ohio State thing. The Buckeyes just don’t care. Get Pitt back on your schedule, and erase the biggest black mark of Joe Paterno’s storied career. Heck, many of your more knowledgeable fans demand it.

Now, on to picking this Saturday’s game…

#7 OHIO STATE (-7) AT PENN STATE: Many Penn State fans that I’ve heard on local radio and television call-in shows this week are focusing on Ohio State’s troubles running the ball, and thus assuming that Penn State can easily upset the Buckeyes. And it is certainly true that OSU has had trouble running the ball against good run defenses like Wisconsin and Iowa. However, Penn State’s run defense is ranked as one of the worst in Division I-A – even worse than Indiana’s, who the Buckeyes pasted 216 ground yards (and 387 through the air) on last Saturday. Thus, I think that Ohio State will be able to run the ball in Beaver Stadium – especially with an occasional Craig Krenzel surprise trip out of the pocket. And we all know that Krenzel and McMullen will be able to get some yards through the air. So as long as the Buckeyes don’t start turning the ball over, we’ll be fine.

And what will Penn State’s offense be able to do against the second ranked defense in Division I-A (and the best run defense)? If they could only get 38 yards on the ground and 138 yards through the air against Iowa, they ain’t gonna get jack against Ohio State. Just look how well the Buckeyes shut down Iowa’s offense (219 total net yards).

Add to all of this the fact that Penn State hasn’t covered a spread since the Nebraska game, and this pick is easy. Gimme the Buckeyes to cover seven.

Hail to All of the Pitt Fans Who Will Be Rooting For the Buckeyes