Here’s a few random thoughts while I watch Neil Rudel‘s weekly call in show on public access TV (listening to Penn State fans bemoan their fate has become something of an admittedly pathetic pastime of mine).

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This chat session from September 15, 2003, further explains why I hate ESPN college football analyst Trev Alberts so much. Last Thursday, during the halftime show of the Cal/Utah game, Alberts clearly guaranteed that North Carolina State would beat Ohio State this past Saturday. I know because I was watching (and blogged about it immediately here).

Mark May and Chris Fowler (who was runs with the second string boys on Thursday night) quickly teased Alberts about his guarantee. Fowler warned, “They’ll hear that in Columbus.” Alberts quietly responded, “Oh… I shouldn’t have said that.” However, Alberts DID NOT retract his guarantee.

I would respect Alberts for sticking with his guarantee after he let it slip. However, he hasn’t done that since Ohio State actually beat N.C. State.

Mike, OH-IO: Got any more guarantees this week? Betting against your predictions is usually easy money.

Trev Alberts: I think you are referring to the guarantee that NC State would beat OSU. I just watched the tape and guaranteed that Amato’s guys would be ready to play. I did not guarantee an NC State vicotry, I predicted a win. If it had not been for some boneheaded playcalling, I would have been right. If you are happy that you won against a 1-2 team in triple OT, good for you.

First off, either learn how to spell “victory” or use the spellchecker. Second, don’t try to change what you said. You had a chance to retract your guarantee Thursday night and chose not to do so. Third, don’t get so defensive about getting the Ohio State-N.C. State game wrong. No college football analyst gets it right every time. Heck, I went 1-3 this past week. You’re going to predict many games wrong. You don’t have to get bitter or insulting about it. Fourth, you should be used to predicting Ohio State games wrong by now (didn’t you guarantee that Miami would win too?). Fifth, N.C. State isn’t just your average 1-2 team. Many ESPN analysts — including yourself, I believe — predicted that they would win the ACC and that Phillip Rivers would be a legitimate Heisman contender. Ohio State was not playing a patsy.

Not surprisingly, I’m not the only college football fan who hates Pretty Boy Alberts.

Frank (Atlanta, GA): Who was more lucky last year? Ohio St to not lose a game or you to keep your job?

Alberts then gets into a pathetic little exchange that sounds like it belongs in junior high school.

Jim (DC): Trev, where do you live in Atlanta? Ever make it out to Makos or Hole in the Wall in Buckhead??

Trev Alberts: Yeah, I’m gonna tell you where I live so you can egg my house and beat me up! I live “somewhere” in Atlanta. Maybe you can find me.

Matt Bryant (Tallahassee): Are you saying that if Jim from DC found you, that he would be able to beat you up?

Trev Alberts: Well, let’s face it. Like I’ve always said, I will fight anybody. I’m not scared. But I would never say I could beat anyone up. I’m a farm kid from Iowa now. I always tell everyone, if you are going to fight somebody, make sure you can win. I don’t go lookin’ for fights, but I will defend my self if I have to. You don’t want to fight a farm kid! I’m a middle aged man! What do you want from me!

First, “myself” is one word. Second, just because you’re from Iowa doesn’t mean that you grew up on a farm. I DID grow up on a farm, and I was no tougher than my friends whose dads weren’t farmers (I just worked harder after school, that’s all). Third, you’re getting a little paranoid and defensive. Nobody threatened to beat you up, old man. Fourth, grow up.

I would seriously take the Nittany Lion/Notre Dame-worshiping little turncoat Pitt alumnus, Beano Cook, over Trev Alberts any day. And that’s saying a lot…

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Ivan Maisel’s piece on ESPN.com today turns up an interesting motivation for Michigan‘s remarkable success this season so far.

Upon more persistent questioning, however, some of the Wolverines said their motivation this season stems in part from the national championship won by their archrival, Ohio State, a year ago. “They are a great team and our biggest rival,” said tailback Chris Perry, who has emerged not only as a Heisman Trophy contender but as a leader in the Michigan locker room. “When they go out and win a national championship, you try to go out and one-up each other. That’s what rivals do. They’re one up on us.”

Now that’s a real rivalry. Perhaps what Penn State needs these days is a real rival to motivate it. Now if we only knew where they could find one to put on their schedule…

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Well, Rudel’s call in show is over. Nothing surprising. Nittany Lion Nation is indeed encouraged by Penn State’s gutsy performance in Lincoln, Nebraska last Saturday. Nevertheless, there were the usual spat of callers (probably an honest majority these days) who want Joe Paterno gone. Rudel thinks that if they have one more bad season after this one, empty seats at Beaver Stadium will force Penn State into asking Joe to resign.

One of Rudel’s guests asserted that Joe Paterno still has value, though, because Penn State has one of the top two recruiting classes in the country right now. I would love to dispute that fact, since I’m pretty sure that even Pitt (as well as Michigan, Ohio State, USC, Miami, and several other schools) has a better recruiting class brewing than the Lions do. However, I can find no 2004 early class rankings on the internet. Has anybody else seen anything?

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The student section at Heinz Field is so much more enthusiastic and fun than it was when I was at Pitt in the early 1990s that it almost embarrasses me. Of course, today’s kids have the luxury of a winning program. Nevertheless, they really should give the kids better seats, even if it comes at the expense of money-paying, old alumni season ticket holders like myself. You want your loudest fans where they can do the most damage. Think of the student sections in Cameron Indoor Stadium or in the crotch of the Horseshoe.

The kids’s booing Ball State both on and off the field was hilarious (if admittedly a little classless… I mean, wasn’t it bad enough that the poor bastards had to play a top ten team on the road?). However, I still don’t understand why security won’t let the kids throw a beach ball around a little. Maybe those balls are a lot more dangerous than I think.

Speaking of things that have improved since I was a student at Pitt, the Pitt Band is genuinely impressive these days. I love their field entrance. I just wish that the stadium would kill that Alan Parson’s Project music sooner when the team takes the field. I’d rather hear the Victory Song than that synthesizer crap.

Seriously (and don’t think that I won’t take a little crap for this from some of this site’s other contributors), Hail to the Pitt Band