Here’s a few random thoughts while I watch Neil Rudel‘s weekly call in show on public access TV (listening to Penn State fans bemoan their fate has become something of an admittedly pathetic pastime of mine).

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This chat session from September 15, 2003, further explains why I hate ESPN college football analyst Trev Alberts so much. Last Thursday, during the halftime show of the Cal/Utah game, Alberts clearly guaranteed that North Carolina State would beat Ohio State this past Saturday. I know because I was watching (and blogged about it immediately here).

Mark May and Chris Fowler (who was runs with the second string boys on Thursday night) quickly teased Alberts about his guarantee. Fowler warned, “They’ll hear that in Columbus.” Alberts quietly responded, “Oh… I shouldn’t have said that.” However, Alberts DID NOT retract his guarantee.

I would respect Alberts for sticking with his guarantee after he let it slip. However, he hasn’t done that since Ohio State actually beat N.C. State.

Mike, OH-IO: Got any more guarantees this week? Betting against your predictions is usually easy money.

Trev Alberts: I think you are referring to the guarantee that NC State would beat OSU. I just watched the tape and guaranteed that Amato’s guys would be ready to play. I did not guarantee an NC State vicotry, I predicted a win. If it had not been for some boneheaded playcalling, I would have been right. If you are happy that you won against a 1-2 team in triple OT, good for you.

First off, either learn how to spell “victory” or use the spellchecker. Second, don’t try to change what you said. You had a chance to retract your guarantee Thursday night and chose not to do so. Third, don’t get so defensive about getting the Ohio State-N.C. State game wrong. No college football analyst gets it right every time. Heck, I went 1-3 this past week. You’re going to predict many games wrong. You don’t have to get bitter or insulting about it. Fourth, you should be used to predicting Ohio State games wrong by now (didn’t you guarantee that Miami would win too?). Fifth, N.C. State isn’t just your average 1-2 team. Many ESPN analysts — including yourself, I believe — predicted that they would win the ACC and that Phillip Rivers would be a legitimate Heisman contender. Ohio State was not playing a patsy.

Not surprisingly, I’m not the only college football fan who hates Pretty Boy Alberts.

Frank (Atlanta, GA): Who was more lucky last year? Ohio St to not lose a game or you to keep your job?

Alberts then gets into a pathetic little exchange that sounds like it belongs in junior high school.

Jim (DC): Trev, where do you live in Atlanta? Ever make it out to Makos or Hole in the Wall in Buckhead??

Trev Alberts: Yeah, I’m gonna tell you where I live so you can egg my house and beat me up! I live “somewhere” in Atlanta. Maybe you can find me.

Matt Bryant (Tallahassee): Are you saying that if Jim from DC found you, that he would be able to beat you up?

Trev Alberts: Well, let’s face it. Like I’ve always said, I will fight anybody. I’m not scared. But I would never say I could beat anyone up. I’m a farm kid from Iowa now. I always tell everyone, if you are going to fight somebody, make sure you can win. I don’t go lookin’ for fights, but I will defend my self if I have to. You don’t want to fight a farm kid! I’m a middle aged man! What do you want from me!

First, “myself” is one word. Second, just because you’re from Iowa doesn’t mean that you grew up on a farm. I DID grow up on a farm, and I was no tougher than my friends whose dads weren’t farmers (I just worked harder after school, that’s all). Third, you’re getting a little paranoid and defensive. Nobody threatened to beat you up, old man. Fourth, grow up.

I would seriously take the Nittany Lion/Notre Dame-worshiping little turncoat Pitt alumnus, Beano Cook, over Trev Alberts any day. And that’s saying a lot…

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Ivan Maisel’s piece on ESPN.com today turns up an interesting motivation for Michigan‘s remarkable success this season so far.

Upon more persistent questioning, however, some of the Wolverines said their motivation this season stems in part from the national championship won by their archrival, Ohio State, a year ago. “They are a great team and our biggest rival,” said tailback Chris Perry, who has emerged not only as a Heisman Trophy contender but as a leader in the Michigan locker room. “When they go out and win a national championship, you try to go out and one-up each other. That’s what rivals do. They’re one up on us.”

Now that’s a real rivalry. Perhaps what Penn State needs these days is a real rival to motivate it. Now if we only knew where they could find one to put on their schedule…

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Well, Rudel’s call in show is over. Nothing surprising. Nittany Lion Nation is indeed encouraged by Penn State’s gutsy performance in Lincoln, Nebraska last Saturday. Nevertheless, there were the usual spat of callers (probably an honest majority these days) who want Joe Paterno gone. Rudel thinks that if they have one more bad season after this one, empty seats at Beaver Stadium will force Penn State into asking Joe to resign.

One of Rudel’s guests asserted that Joe Paterno still has value, though, because Penn State has one of the top two recruiting classes in the country right now. I would love to dispute that fact, since I’m pretty sure that even Pitt (as well as Michigan, Ohio State, USC, Miami, and several other schools) has a better recruiting class brewing than the Lions do. However, I can find no 2004 early class rankings on the internet. Has anybody else seen anything?

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The student section at Heinz Field is so much more enthusiastic and fun than it was when I was at Pitt in the early 1990s that it almost embarrasses me. Of course, today’s kids have the luxury of a winning program. Nevertheless, they really should give the kids better seats, even if it comes at the expense of money-paying, old alumni season ticket holders like myself. You want your loudest fans where they can do the most damage. Think of the student sections in Cameron Indoor Stadium or in the crotch of the Horseshoe.

The kids’s booing Ball State both on and off the field was hilarious (if admittedly a little classless… I mean, wasn’t it bad enough that the poor bastards had to play a top ten team on the road?). However, I still don’t understand why security won’t let the kids throw a beach ball around a little. Maybe those balls are a lot more dangerous than I think.

Speaking of things that have improved since I was a student at Pitt, the Pitt Band is genuinely impressive these days. I love their field entrance. I just wish that the stadium would kill that Alan Parson’s Project music sooner when the team takes the field. I’d rather hear the Victory Song than that synthesizer crap.

Seriously (and don’t think that I won’t take a little crap for this from some of this site’s other contributors), Hail to the Pitt Band

In a word, crap.

My picks against the spread for last week came the width of T.A. McLendon’s ass from going 0-4. Fortunately, N.C. State’s Head Coach Chuck Amato couldn’t call a play right on EA Sports’s NCAA Football 2003 (even with the animated Lee Corso recommendations), Ohio State’s Will Allen made the hit of his career, and N.C. State came up a half yard short in losing to Ohio State 44-38 (3OT). It’s a shame, in that it couldn’t have happened to a nicer bunch of guys (snicker).

But despite their having beaten a rival who had openly circled September 13 on their calendar last winter, Ohio State revealed in this game (and in the last one) that it has some very serious problems. The Buckeyes simply cannot run the ball, and their senior-laden offensive line is getting repeatedly manhandled. They could get by on a sputtering offense last year, but that was with a far superior defense. I sincerely doubt that OSU can reclaim even the Big Ten crown without a fundamental overhaul.

So thanks to some luck in Columbus, I avoided the shut out and went 1-3 this past week — taking my new overall record to 5-6. What the hell went wrong? Well, I can come up with three main problems with my picks.

1. I am an idiot (PITTSBURGH 42, BALL STATE 21). In spite of my having followed Pitt football long enough to know better, I picked Pitt to cover the spread against a MAC team — based on Pitt’s impressive performance against Kent State two weeks ago. But under Head Coach Walt Harris, Pitt has generally played to the level of its season-opening MAC opponents for at least a quarter or two, if not all day. I should have remembered this.

But that first half — during which Ball State pretty much had their way both on the ground and in the air against our defense — was absolutely frightening. Add Walt Harris’s scattered episodes of predictable playcalling to Defensive Coordinator Paul Rhoades’s woes, and I’m still shaking. The 9th ranked team in the country shouldn’t have trouble against Ball State, even if only for a half. I think that we’re lucky this game wasn’t televised.

Either way, both Paul Rhoades and Bob Ligashesky (our special teams coach) have a crapload of work to do before we face the likes of Virginia Tech and Miami.

2. Michigan is scary good (MICHIGAN 38, NOTRE DAME 0). This seemed like an easy pick at the time. Michigan never looks good three games in a row, and Notre Dame always plays Michigan close. But as much as I despise having to admit it, this year’s Michigan team is something special. Now watch the suckers get upset by Northwestern again.

3. Every now and then, Penn State actually tries (NEBRASKA 18, PENN STATE 10). After playing entirely flat against Boston College and Temple, one would expect that Penn State wouldn’t put much effort into this one (especially along the offensive line). But for some freak reason, the Lions actually tried. Perhaps the outcome of this game has as much to do with Nebraska sucking as Penn State’s improving. Nevertheless, I was somewhat impressed with the Lions.

Too bad they don’t play Michigan this year. I could root for lightening or a tornado or something…

Hail to Heinz Field Security Getting Off the Student Section’s Ass… I Mean, It’s Only a Freakin’ Beach Ball, Fer Chrissakes

Apologies for not getting this out any sooner. Saturday night was the bachelor party for one of us, and that is all I can say on the matter.

The game was alternatingly frustrating and predictable. Pitt came out in the first half and were sleepwalking on both sides of the ball. No spark. No energy. Ball St. was not rolling over for them. At the end of the half, the score was 14-14; and there were boos in the stadium for the performance.

The 3rd quarter was different. Pitt showed some spark and pride. The defense shut down Ball St. and Pitt put 21 unanswered points on the board. Ball State added a 4th quarter touchdown to keep more fans from breaking for the parking lot early — and insure that there would be no chance to cover the spread — on a mild, overcast day.

Ultimately, Pitt won the game with ease; and there are plenty of excuses for being so sluggish and even looking past Ball State to the game against Texas A&M in 2 weeks. Still, there is that upcoming game against the Toledo Rockets in the Glass Bowl. Toledo just came off a great win against Marshall in Huntington. Toledo may actually give them more of a battle than expected.