Let’s go over Pat’s half-baked arguments and overgeneralizations one at a time.

1) you asked – nay, demanded – that Celtic beat Manchester United just ONCE. All I did was point out to all the readers of this site that Celtic DID beat Man U (as recently as 2002).

You did more than just that. You claimed that…

the last time Manchester United played Celtic was in 2002 at Old Trafford in Manchester, with Celtic winning 4-3. Bitch.

This is blatantly false, unless what happened in Seattle in 2003 wasn’t really a soccer game. Admittedly, I doubt that any of the fans present stayed awake long enough to find out for sure.

Besides, this site has no readers.

2) As for falling into traps regarding academic reputations, let us not forget the favorite passtime of many college football fans – turning to academics when their team is down.

Indeed. When we were students at Pitt, I distinctly remember a letter to the editor of the Pitt News from a faculty council that argued that Pitt should drop football, since it was academically too good to play against the Penn States of the world anyways.

Incidentally, at the time, Penn State was actually a tougher school to get into than Pitt.

And who are the worst offenders? Why, the Big11 schools, thank you very much… “We may not have won this year, but at least our players aren’t illiterate criminals like _____ (insert above listed school here)” they seem to repeat ad nausem.

Once again, you’re assuming that all Big Ten schools are just like Penn State, and that all Big Ten fans sound just like the typical Lion fan. The Big Ten is far more diverse than that. Ohio State and the University of Minnesota are every bit as urban as Pitt is.

With the exception of this year’s Fiesta Bowl, I’ve never heard a fellow Ohio State fan claim that our players are somehow morally superior to any other school’s players (and heck, EVERY school’s players are morally superior to Miami’s).

Besides, I do believe that one Big Ten school did win it all this year. And I do believe that the Big Ten had the best conference bowl record, allegedly superior academics and all.

These rich white guys who give money to their favorite schools don’t like the idea of rooting for a bunch of illiterate criminals – especially if they are black. So they fool themselves into thinking that their school/conference would never stoop so low as to admit a person of low moral character (i.e. an upiddy negro from the ghetto who doesn’t appreciate the value of a college education).

Might I remind you that Ohio State pioneered the use of African-American players long before Pitt did (Jesse Owens was a Buckeye). And in terms of minority enrollment today, Ohio State and Pitt are practically twins. Once again, you’re assuming that all Big Ten schools look just like lilly-white Penn State.

3) True, some of our fellow tailgaters have not developed the emnity for all things Nittany that is necessary to lead a true, moral, and just life. Give them time. And give them guidance, whenever it is needed. In this area, we must be true to the undeniable fact – Penn State Sucks above all others.

I’ll agree to that much.

4) As for your allusion to the Declaration of Independence, it was offered in the context of a blog that was already constituted. It was an attempt to define the parameters of a blog that was in existence, not to morally justify a nascent blog that was yet to be.
Therefore, your reference was, in spirit, more analogous to the Constitution than to the Declaration of Independence. Ergo, any critique of said constitution would rightly appear in the spirit of those who wished to amend the Constitution (the Anti-Federalists).
Quad, erat, demonstandum.

Uh-huh. The prosecution smugly rests.

Hail to Man U and the English Premier League, the best of the British Isles